I think I’m right when I say
I’m in a state of mass confusion.
Because right now on my plate
I have more things than I can seem to delineate
From work to my family
To my faith that keeps on struggling
My friends keep callin
While I’m constantly stallin
To let them become tangled
In this chaos that is—
My life.
That’s not to say however,
That they too,
Are not bearing their own worries…
Because everyone has their own stories
Of their journeys.
But I’m just saying,
For right now,
My journey is one
I need to venture out on my own.
And excuse me for not giving you the 411
And the updated Facebook status
Of—Sasha—
But I’m fine right now
Having me in my own business.
Don’t get me wrong,
I appreciate your concern,
But, you gotta realize
That it’s my turn
To do what I need to.
So here’s you,
And here’s me,
And here are the things I need to do.
It sounds kinda selfish,
But my mama always told me,
Giving yourself away without giving time to yourself
Is the recipe to disaster.
And believe me, I was well on my way,
Needing to pull out much faster
Than the rate I was going.
I think I caught myself just in time—
Or at least I hope I did.
I’m not gonna lie,
Even when I really tried,
I could never find the right balance.
It was always,
I’ll focus on academics,
Or I’ll focus on clubs,
Or my love life,
Or my family…
And whenever I focused on one,
The rest seemed to falter
And always came short
Rather than farther
Than my expectations.
There’s no room for that now,
I’m not gonna wait around much longer.
My time is now, so I have to be stronger.
Ya hold me back?
I’ll keep moving past you,
There are no maybes,
But more, I have to’s…
See I’m the kinda girl
That needs to move forward
No wasting time,
Missing deadlines,
And settling for “just fine”.
So after this uncharacteristic
Stage of mine
I realized I’ve been missing out on my life,
The way I would want to live it.
I’m fightin for that now
And only I can show me how
That’s gonna go down.
I got it, I’m ready,
I’ve almost got this figured out…
Just let me be,
And without a doubt
The world is gonna see
What I am really about.
